I have been seeing various discussions on what it means to be a Gen Y, a Millennial, who falls into what category, and how this generation should do this thing or that thing, how we are unhappy, how we are disappointing our country, etc. etc. Honestly, i mostly ignore all of this information because, when you group all of the young adults into categories, how in the world are we supposed to take you seriously? We are not all tech-savvy, were are not all unhappy, some of us love working for the same company for years and investing in our retirement, some are activists, some are lost, and most likely do not care about your statistics about our lives. Personally i think you're right, i was raised to think were are all pretty damn special and unique, just as every other individual in a generation has been and will be.
Were all Baby Boomers hippies? My mother definitely wasn't. In fact, if i remember my history lesson correctly, the silent majority wasn't involved in the free-loving, war-protesting, hippy movement. I would be willing to say that in my home state of Wyoming and many others there likely wasn't so much free-loving, war-protesting movements outside in the streets where everyone could see. My father had the gorgeous long hair and fabulous bell bottom pants, and i sometimes ask him what it was like to see the television reports over dinner and know people being drafted. Scary.
What's more? As i encounter people or children of people who were involved in these country-changing movements, often they have stories that largely circle around the drugs, sex, and self-involved spiritual quests to find oneself, not the idealized pictures i have held up in my mind of what that movement came to represent for me. Disappointing, really. And these people, the ones i meet or their children, guess what the majority of them do? The same thing everyone does. They went to work at some random business, gave up living off the grid in the dream of their activism, and kept their heads down. It breaks my heart to see this generation of broken activists. The war in Vietnam ended, and then they got down to business to earn money, raise their family, and survive. As simple as that. So i guess the question they are asking (or at least i feel the pressure to ask myself) is why, as a generation, are we having such a hard time doing the same?
Of course i don't know. There's no way i could know this. Just like there's no way to really explain how it could have been possible to give it up and go work for some firm and invest in retirement. All i know is that i have not found this an easy path to follow. And, at least in my head, i gave it a few tries. There are a lot of things that are both wrong and right in the world (and the business world in particular), and while i don't have any idea on how to fix or support them, i do know that i can't seem to find a reason to just accept the way things are and do what society tells me is the next step. I am fully aware that i am nearly 30, unemployed, habitually single, with little to no direction in my life, without health care but with some serious medical questions, and have friends and family strung around the world. But you know what? I am happy every single day. And how many of the people we know doing what we are supposed to do next can say that? It seems ridiculous, but honestly, even when i've been mugged, when i'm desperately missing my people, and when communication with the outside world seems impossible; every single day i am happy.
I was not able to say this when i had a 40 hour a week job back in the States... But there is one huge thing i miss desperately: having a home. Some little place in the world that felt right, where i could settle into my skin and just exist. This general malaise has recently made me question that while life is hands-down far exceeding what i expected, i am not sure how long i can maintain this path i've chosen. Can someone really be happy without a home? For how long? And what would i need to feel that again after 15 years?
So far i've come to three things i personally need to maintain my happy life indefinitely:
1.) a job that i love, that gives me some end product to feel accomplished at the end of the day.
2.) a location that i love, where i can feel myself and free.
3.) a person that i love, who supports me fully and will always be there for me.
Number one has thus far proved elusive. Things that i love, and then have to work ridiculous hours at have a tendency to turn sour to me. Those few things that i am still passionate about (travel, baking, reading...) i have held off from exploring as a job because they are so precious i worry about loosing my love for them too (plus, who would pay me to do those things? No, really... is there someone?). It feels like if i were able to find this job, i would be able to live anywhere... but as it is an untried theory i can't be certain.
Number two is the most exciting for me. Right now, I am considering a) Yellowstone National Park, b) the Pacific coast of Costa Rica, and c) anyplace near to my dear friends and family (such as the Big Island of Hawai'i). I think that if i was around my favorite places in the world i could do anything for work as long as i was still free enough to enjoy my surroundings. Rent out rooms in the house i would own (my own little oven and library!), work at some small local job to meet people, and maybe get some income online... I've learned to live on basically nothing, and found myself to be much happier for it. So with enough to own my personal space, i think i could make life work.
And number three is very dependent on an unpredictable variable. I have been traveling with my cherished younger sister for a year and a half, and in that time i felt that i could do anything, anywhere. The problem is that this last one makes me lose the independence that i have loved over the past 15 years. If my happiness requires me to stick near this other person, be it my sister, a friend, or (as unlikely as it may be) a mate, what do i do when this person wants to settle into some place i don't want to be and then doesn't have time to give me anymore? From both past and recent experience, i found that this is the most difficult question to be posed. It turns out, i leave... because i am not only high maintenance, but also not nearly as supportive as i would like my other to be.
